Monday, April 30, 2007
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Yoel Kahn On Wikipedia...
Rabbi Yoel Kahn (or Kahan) is a senior, Chabad rabbi, Mashpia, and community leader. He has served in this role for four decades. He lives in Crown Heights, Brooklyn, New York. He is referred to familiarly amongst Chabad Chasidim as Reb Yoel, or just Yoel
Read more!
Welcome to the Neigers Wait till we tell the Jews...
The punch line is wait till we tell the jews...
Saturday, April 28, 2007
The Shnazel is the winner! Way to go Mendy!
Rosenthal Studios makes Mendy Pellin from Chabad News Online Make a Big chabad shnazel tube type of smile! Nice!
This bochur is practicing a dance for a chabad wedding
The Sefira Acapela Song Bitachon Jewish Break Dance
If you get an email like this dont reply its a scam!
DEAREST ONE,
I KNOW MY MESSAGE WILL COME TO YOU AS A SURPRISE SINCE I DONT KNOW YOU IN PERSON OR MET WITH YOU BEFORE BUT AM OF THE BELIVE THAT YOU WOULD BE OBLIGED TO COME TO MY ASSISTANCE AFTER HEARING ABOUT MY SITUATION.
I AM MIRIAM SILVIL KOLO,18 YEAR OLD GIRL, I WAS FORMELY A MEDICAL STUDENT OF UNIVERSITY OF ABIDJAN,IVORY COAST WEST AFRICA.LATE LAST YEAR OCTOBER 2006,THE REBELS IN MY COUNTRY STRUCK OUR TOWNSHIP AND KILL MY PARENTS BECAUSE MY FATHER WAS AN OPPOSITION LEADER TO THE PRESIDENT OF MY COUNTRY IVORY COAST .BEFORE HIS DEATH HE HAS $5.5 M USD (Five Million , FiveHundred Thousand dollars.)IN A DOMICILIARY ACCOUNT WITH A BANK IN COTE D IVOIRE WHICH I AM THE NEXT OF KIN.PLEASE I NEED YOUR ASSISTANCE IN THE FOLLOWING WAYS.
1)TO SERVE AS THE GUARDIAN OF THIS FUND SINCE I AM ONLY 18.
2)TO PROVIDE A BANK ACCOUNT WHERE THIS MONEY WOULD BE TRANSFERRED
3)TO MAKE ARRANGEMENT FOR ME TO COME OVER AFTER THIS MONEY IS TRANSFERRED TO COMPLETE MY STUDIES.
4)TO LOOK FOR A GOOD VENTURE WHERE THIS MONEY WILL BE INVESTED,I AM WILLING TO OFFER YOU 20% OF TH TOTAL SUM AS COMPENSATION OF YOUR EFFORT AND 5% FOR ANY OTHER EXPENCE YOU MADE AFTER A SUCCESFUL TRANSFER.
THANKS AND GOD BLESS YOU
SINCERELY
MIRIAM
Satmar Yartzeit Tish
Grand Rabbi Aaron Teitelbaum, Satmar Rebbe, leading a memorial service on the first anniversary of the death of his father, Grand Rabbi ... all » Moses Teitelbaum, the previous Satmar Rebbe, in his synagogue, the main Satmar Synagogue in the Village of Kiryas Joel, in the town of Monroe, NY.
The Grand Rabbi is leading the singing of "I Believe in the coming of the Messiah", to a tune which was composed by oppressed Jews during World War II.
Friday, April 27, 2007
Jewish Mother to guess which one son is going to Marry
A young Jewish man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and
that he is going to get married. He says, "Just for fun, Ma, I'm going
to bring over 3 women and you try and guess which one I'm going to
marry." The mother agrees.
The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits
them down on the couch and they chat for a while. He then says, "Okay,
Ma, guess which one I'm going to marry." She immediately replies,
"The one on the right." "That's amazing, Ma. You're right. How did you
know? The Jewish mother replies, "I don't like her."
Independence Day Chabad Nachman Breslov on Ben-Yehuda
Chassids dancing trance on Ben-Yehuda and Nordau crossing, Tel-Aviv, Independence Day 2007
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Belt - A parody of Lipa Schmeltzer's "Gelt"
A parody of Lipa Schmeltzer's "Gelt" Song It was produced on a late Motzoie Shabbos in preperation to show at a Lipa concert in Baltimore on March 12th, 2006
Monday, April 23, 2007
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Bush Comes to Brooklyn - Vus titzuch
President Bush calls in the Head of the CIA and asks, How come the Jews know everything before we do?"
The CIA chief says, "The Jews have this expression :'Vus titzuch?'
The President says, "Hell, what's that mean?"
Well, Mr. President", replies the CIA chief, "It's a Yiddish expression which roughly translates to "what's happening". They just ask each other and they know everything."
The President decides to personally go undercover to determine if this is true. He gets dressed up as an Orthodox Jew (black hat, beard, long black coat) and is secretly flown in an unmarked plane to New York, picked up in an unmarked car, and dropped off in Brooklyn's most Jewish neighborhood.
Soon a little old man comes shuffling along. The President stops him and whispers, "Vus titzuch?"
The old guy whispers back: "Bush is in Brooklyn."
Abe and Esther are flying to Australia
Abe and Esther are flying to Australia for a two week vacation to celebrate their 40th anniversary.
Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing. Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be able to land on the beach. However, the odds are that we will may never be rescued and will have to live on the island for the rest of our lives!"
Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the island.
An hour later Abe turns to his wife and asks, "Esther, did ve pay our charity pledge cheque to ze Beth Shalom Synagogue yet?"
"No, sveetheart," she responds.
Abe, still shaken from the crash landing, then asks, "Esther, did ve pay our United Jewish Appeal pledge?"
"Oiy, no! I'm sorry. I forgot to send ze cheque," she says.
"Vun last ting, Esther. Did you remember to send ze check for the Synagogue Building Fund zis month," he asks? "Oiy, forgive me, Abe," begged Esther. "I didn't sent zat vun either."
Abe grabs her and gives her the biggest hug in 40 years.
Esther pulls away and asks him, " So, vy did you hug me?"
Abe answers, "They'll find us!"
Virgina Tech Professor Vigil - Rabbi Shmuli Novak
First Coast News, leading Jcksonville Television station does a piece on Chabad of Southside & UNF's prayer service held prior to Shabbat Candle Lighting on Friday April 20th
Friday, April 20, 2007
Yaacov Shwekey and Mordechai Shapiro (12 year old).
Lyrics :
"Racheim Racheim nu hashem Elokeinu Racheim
al Yisrael amecha racheim
ve-al Yerushalayim irecha Racheim Racheim Racheim
ve-al tziyon mishkan kevodecha
ve-al malchut beit David meshichecha
ve-al ha-bayit ha gadol
veha-kadosh Racheim Racheim Racheim
ve-al tziyon mishkan kevodecha
ve-al malchut beit David meshichecha
ve-al ha-bayit ha gadol
veha-kadosh Racheim Racheim Racheim"
rabbis under arrest sing ashrei
On April 17, 2007, eighteen rabbis were arrest at a Stop Iran Now protest at the UN in New York City. While in handcuffs, in the back of the NYPD van, they began to sing Psalm 145 "Ashrei." By Rabbi Mark Ankcorn. In van were Rabbis Mark Ankcorn, Aaron Rubinger, Bruce Ginsburg, Avi Weiss, Etan Mintz, David Kalb, Uri Topolsky, Jason Herman, Steven Burton, and others
Jewish Humor Joke - The Cow From Minsk
The only cow in a small town in Poland stopped giving milk. The people did some research and found that they could buy a cow from Moscow for 2,000 rubles, or one from Minsk for 1,000 rubles. Being frugal, they bought the cow from Minsk.
The cow was wonderful. It produced lots of milk all the time, and the people were amazed and very happy. They decided to acquire a bull to mate with the cow and produce more cows like it. Then they would never have to worry about the milk supply again.
They bought a bull and put it in the pasture with their beloved cow. However, whenever the bull came close to the cow, the cow would move away. No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull and he could not succeed in his quest.
The people were very upset and decided to ask their wise rabbi, what to do. They told the rabbi what was happening. "Whenever the bull approaches our cow, she moves away. If he approaches from the back, she moves forward.
When he approaches her from the front, she backs off. An approach from the side and she just walks away to the other side."
The rabbi thought about this for a minute and asked, "Did you buy this cow from Minsk?"
The people were dumbfounded, since they had never mentioned where they had gotten the cow. "You are truly a wise rabbi," they said.
"How did you know we got the cow from Minsk?"
The rabbi answered sadly, "My wife is from Minsk."
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
How to get your kids to come home for Pesach
An elderly man in Miami calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing. Forty-five years of misery is enough."
"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams.
"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her," and he hangs up.
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone, "Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this." She calls her father immediately and screams at the old man, "You are NOT getting divorced! Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back! , and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "They're coming for Passover and paying their own airfares."
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Sunday, April 15, 2007
So you wanna go to london huh? Lets try google maps.
Are you sure you want to go to london?
Take 60 seconds to do this. I guarantee you will show it to someone else...
it is too funny not to.
1. Open an internet browser - internet explorer or firefox etc.
2. go to maps.google.com
3. click on "get directions" (under the search box)
4. type "New York" in the first box (the "from" box)
5. type "London" in the second box (the "to" box)
6. scroll down to step #23
Enjoy!
Friday, April 13, 2007
A British Jew is waiting in line to be knighted by the Queen.
A British Jew is waiting in line to be knighted by the Queen.
He is to kneel in front of her and recite a sentence in Latin when she taps him on the shoulders with her sword.
However, when his turn comes, he panics in the excitement of the moment and forgets the Latin. Then, thinking fast, he recites the only other sentence he knows in a foreign language, which he remembers from the Passover Seder:
"Ma nishtana ha layla ha zeh mi kol ha laylot."
Puzzled, Her Majesty turns to her advisor and
whispers, "Why is this knight different from all other knights?"
Happy Passover!
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Sunday, April 8, 2007
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
The Rebbe Burning the Chometz, 1988
Also on Living Torah this week (volume 34, episode 134):
* At the Seder, the Children have the lead role!
* Ma-Nishtana is for all children.
* His entire existence was for Torah
Living Torah is a member supported project.
Learn more at www.LivingTorah.org
Monday, April 2, 2007
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Sunday, April 1, 2007
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